The
last few days have been a string of ughs and uhhhs. Eyes heavy,
distressed, a combination of misfired shampoo, rubbing eyes with
chilli-covered hands, flies flying into my face , and a sticky
lack of sleep. Lids refusing to stay open far enough to see. Arms
useless, shoulders tense. Ribs aching with too much something.
Hhhhhh.
. .
I
wrote three letters yesterday, before I had to teach a score of young
things. Two of the notes were thank you notes, and the other was a
three page complaint. I felt the difference of thanks and complaint
acutely. I muttered and stormed my way to the letter box at 1:40 in
the afternoon, knowing I had to come back to teach piano, and I just
didn't want to. I had 20 minutes of freedom. So I continued on,
huffing, puffing, scowling.
Now,
here I will mention, it is often in these moments that I pray for
beautiful things from nature, or a little helpless animal to be
placed divinely in front of me so that I have a release for my
tension, or some sort of catharsis.
Yesterday,
I didn't pray for that. Often they don't show up anyway. And I'm a
grown-up. I was going to sort this out on my own. I wanted to
grumble.
And
then.
From
somewhere in my peripheral vision, my eyes-- those hurting, aching,
worn-out eyes-- stumbled on the most beautiful thing I'd seen for a
long time. Upside down. A nest. I went over to it, half-crying with
it's perfect wholeness, turned it over, and found myself standing
there with my letters in one hand and the most beautiful bird's nest
in the other. A few moments passed. Still there. I had to teach.
Sshhh... The complaint went away. Relief and release replaced it. The
rest of the walk to the post box was thankful; thankful for the nest,
thankful for God's sharp knowledge of where I was at and what would
graciously, lovingly heal that moment for me. Thankful that I am not
alone in those moments where I lose my sense.
Thank
you.
3 comments:
Beautiful thoughts Ginny! I know just how you feel, sometimes...it's just one of those days.
Love this!
Genuine and heartfelt. Love your eye for beauty in the seemingly small things. X
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